Log in

No account? Create an account
They make horror movies that start out this same way! [entries|friends|calendar]
B-Movie Scream Queen

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

1 vaginal rip - rape me

Elfed Up [22 Dec 2008|12:48am]
Send your own ElfYourself eCards

1 vaginal rip - rape me

Kickin' A [22 Sep 2008|08:13pm]
I don't care how lame it is to mention but I am kicking major ass in Algebra. Maybe because I dropped the class after a few weeks, twice, that I only have a good understanding of the first few classes. Or maybe the third time really is just a charm.

On another note, I had a spectacular weekend. I won't go into details as there really aren't many. I barhopped with old friends Friday and rode down to NOLA to visit friends on Saturday; same deal; bar hopping and such. But I just forget, going out and getting trashed all night with whoever is game, that it really is just great and rewarding to get with good friends and just play it mellow. If you call strippers, drugs, and vomit mellow. But hey, that's mellow to me.

Nicely done.

rape me

A Lesson in Honky Tonk [20 Sep 2008|07:08am]
I woke up in my car again this morning... haha. I was listening to ole skool lounge shit on the radio as that is about all I can handle listening to on Saturday mornings. I heard this completely awesome song (if you can even dig this kind of a jam) and can't seem to find the lyrics anywhere to see who sings it.

It's a lady singing to a piano, "I'm going to play the upscale joints, I'm going to play the low scale joints; I'm even going to play the honky tonk...".

Help a ninja out.

rape me

"You're just a psychotic girl and I won't get lost in your world...." [07 Sep 2008|06:32pm]
So I managed to make it through a week long mass power-outage without ever actually being without power. Miraculous, considering we had 100% power outage for the second time in history. First and foremost, I am not surprised by the way people came out and came together to get things done. We are, after all, used to these storms. I am, however, surprised at the lessened looting and fist fights. But, more sensibly, this is Baton Rouge and those types of problems belong more to New Orleans. Although, an angry black woman did get out at a red light and attempt to fight me and I do not know why. She immediately tried to fight a guy in another truck so I guess that's just kind of 'her thing'. Hmm.. Anyway, my point is this, where the hell did all these bucket trucks come from? That's what I'm getting at. Sadly, this is my big 'shocker'.... that there are way more bucket trucks than one, not currently in this area, could ever have imagined. Did they drive in from other areas....? Perhaps.

Anyway, life's good. Take it easy.

rape me

I feel ya, buddy. [09 Aug 2008|06:53am]

rape me

2 Rodeo Burgers, a nigga named Eye Patch, a hint of Racism [29 Jul 2008|07:39pm]
So I'm at Burger King today, living up to my standard of good health, when suddenly a busted ass suburban pulls up along side me and who do I see inside but some hood nigga with an eye patch. Oh, but this is no ordinary eye patch, my friend. This eye patch is not a patch at all; but rather a miniature, gold 'spinner', perhaps the size of a quarter, covering his eye. He begins to motion for me to roll down my window.

Typically, I like to toy with hood niggas at red lights and such so long as it is broad daylight, in a primarily white area, and I am not outnumbered.

SIDE NOTE: Last week, I was at a light alongside a brotha in a work van which read "SPICILIZING IN:" above a list of 'spicilities'. Of course, I must point this out and he proceeds to scream me some bullshit story of illiteracy-denial.

But back to my boy, Patch. He was motioning for me to roll down my window and I, not being in a cheery mood, refused to roll down my window. After moments of persistance, he finally called to me, "Is it broken?"

"Sure", I called back having given up on the notion that he could understand the universal hand-gesture for 'manual window', "its broken."

He began making another gesture; this one not-so universal. I was puzzled by this gesture and didn't really care what it meant. After a moment, he began calling something to me which I now can recognize as the word 'eyebrows' but at the time, seemed completely nonsensible.

He then threw me the universal "Gimme a Second" gesture and being stuck in a drive-thru as I was, perhaps seemed to be 'giving him a second'. He pulled out his wallet and opened it, revealing something rather crinkled-looking and, by my assumption, potentially misspelled. Where the clear, plastic ID compartment is found, I instead was shown his mighty bidnezz card; pressed firmly and proudly against my window.

It read, "Hair Styles and Eyebrows by: Eye Patch". Seizing the moment, as I often do, I lept at the opportunity to obtain such a card for myself. Not surprisingly, "It's the only one". "Oh...", I called back through my passenger window, "I do my own brows."

As I pulled around Burger King, he broke free of the drive-thru line which he had veared into, ahead of me, and I watched the busted suburban roll away. I found myself left in wild wonder.

Where did Eye Patch come from? Where was he going? Did he spot my magnificent eyebrows from the highway? Was he merely trying to compliment me? Did he see a photo-opportunity for portfolio, using my God-given perfect arches as a cheap ploy to attract his fellow heathen hoes to his services? Was he out 'in the field' for the day, marketing his supposed skill? Did this one eyed man truly expect me to be interested in him coming near me with sharp objects, even a non-threatening object such as tweezers? Perhaps. But more than likely, Eye Patch was either going to rob me, attempt to sell me some shitty drugs, or ask for my number and when do I "have friends". Either way, his true intentions will forever remain a mystery.

rape me

Another Day, Another Dollar [26 Jul 2008|10:29am]
I got pulled over not once but twice in the past 24 hours, for driving on a suspended liscence, which I have been doing for the past year. Ironically, I was actually going to pay to resolve that issue with this coming paycheck covering the butt end of the expense. I am really unphased and completely unsurprised at this but it really just sort of blows my mind that I get caught TWICE in a mere 24 hours. The first cop took my liscence but didn't ticket me for driving around without headlights at 1 am. Or field test me, thank god. And the second cop said nothing about the odor when he pulled my friend and I over mid-rotation. I know he had to smell that shit.

Anyway, I won't be up to much this weekend after all. I'm trying to save. Myself. ugh.

rape me

And the knight moves on... [20 Jul 2008|08:58am]
My buddy is moving to NOLA today. It's kind of a bummer but kind of not. He'll be walking distance from the Quarter and crashing over is always welcomed but I'll miss him being around.

I picked up a friend and we went to The Mellow Mushroom Friday night to say bye to him. All his friends had met up there. The place was packed and a great deal of them were his friends so it was cool to mosey around the joint, somewhat knowing most the crowd. I bought him a shot and hung for a few then let him get back to his friends. I went on the patio to kick it with his roommates for awhile, went inside and met this guy who bought me a beer.

First thing he does is start chit-chatting, of course. He is an AM sports radio personality and does some sports stuff on 103.3, a country station. I thought this was pretty neat then he instantly goes into this nervously-spoken admittance of dating some ice skater or something. It was endearing but I am already seeing someone and just wanted a free beer. So I moved on rather quickly. No sense playing awkward with the guy when the drink was already in my hand and he wasn't even cute.

After the Daniel's friends band, who I thought kicked ass, finished playing, they started playing early 90s, rappish, dance music. We boogied a bit and I scored a dance with my friend. After closing, him and I, my friend I had brought, and the chick Daniel is dating, along with a few other friends of his, all went around the corner and hopped the fence to an awesome pool with a waterfall and a occupied hot tub. I hopped in the tub awhile but they were very questionable people and decided I didn't want to force drunken conversation with those fools. They eventually cleared out and we took over that bitch. I'm not crashing the pool I normally crash anymore; I'm going to that hot tub so that was awesome.

We talked (screamed) drunken political and war stances at one another for awhile then, as the sun was coming up, decided we should wake our more lightweighted friends whose bodies were littering the pool area, hop back over the fence, and hit up some omelets. Greatest omelets ever. I bought breakfast for Daniel, myself, and the guy who had provided the bottle of Jack for the latter part of the evening; then, I left feeling somewhat bad as my friend who had tagged along, awkward and somewhat pathetic and unsocial all evening, was the only other one there and I could've covered him on some hashbrowns. Ah, well.

I slept all day then Daniel, one of his roommates, and myself went to see The Dark Knight. I don't often venture to the movies but I really wanted to scope this one out. I love Chritian Bale and I love Christopher Nolan, and I certainly loved the combination of the two the first time. Daniel treated us all and found $20 on the ground when we were leaving. Hell yeah for him. They were attending a party later in the evening. I went home to nap and get dressed but fell asleep until about 1:30 am. Dang... my friend, Brandt, called around midnight to see what I was getting into but I just chatted a bit and went back to bed. I really wasn't up for roaming out into the night, at that point.

Today is time to clean, clean, clean, clean, clean. My car smells awful and I have about 7 loads of laundry to handle up.
I also want to finish a library book so I can bring all that junk back to them before they start charging me nickels on top of nickels for all the shit I brought home from there.

I'm bummed Daniel is moving; he's been a good friend and we've hung out for quite awhile. But I'm pretty psyched that, alast, a friend is moving from dead-end Baton Rouge without leaving the state. I visit NOLA often so in actuality, I may even see him more now than before. Even so, I miss him already.

I love weekends. I'm sure most people do but I really do love weekends. Mine are always so memorable. Not one goes by where I'm not partying non-stop until 8 am. I thought the all-nighters would lessen as I got older but truly, they've only extended from 6 am until 8 am as I am older, make more money, and can afford a massive breakfast AND a bar tab. I love being a grown-up. :)

1 vaginal rip - rape me

[14 Jul 2008|12:47pm]
I can't believe I remembered the password to this journal. For whatever reason, at some point or another, keeping an online journal became a thing of the past for me. Someone linked me to a livejournal last week and I have been remembering, ever since, how much I really enjoyed having one. I miss writing about my daily going-ons and having a set location for all my quirky, midday thoughts. I found it very soothing to post a private entry when something is bothering me, entries often rivaling the Constitution in length. Maybe I'm back; maybe I'm not. But I remember how much, above and beyond all else, this journal helped to improve my writing.

I read the most vile short-story by the guy who wrote Trainspotting while waiting on my friend to get Lasik this morning. It was seriously obscene; I loved it. Also, Lasik takes 3 hours, dude. Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. But anyway, I said I'd be at work a couple hours ago. I need to go blowdry my hair and hit the road. Perhaps I'll write more later and get back into the groove of this thing.

rape me

[19 Dec 2006|12:10pm]
In 10 days, I'll be completely shitfaced on a plane to Vegas; downing Crown and cokes from the breakfast cart. A four day sin rally. Fucking sweet.

It's looking like I can bring everything legal that I'll be using on trip on the plane so that's cool.

3 vaginal rips - rape me

[17 Dec 2006|11:38pm]
I am drunk, I am high, and I am back, baby.

I live with my momma and I don't pay rent. I've got the internet and somebody grilling me on my personal life. My shit is check, dude. And it is awesome to be the child. The world is scary and big and I was never ready for it. I quit thinking I was long enough to realize I'm not and now I will be on here, in my mom's living room, typing about it. The way God intended. I'm just going to grow up all over again because I did a pretty shitty job the first time.

I'm ready to learn priority and give things meaning.

rape me

[06 Nov 2005|06:21pm]
I called the cops on someone for the first time today. It really is a feeling of weakness to do that. I now see why they've been called on me the times they have. People not willing to stand up for themselves.

I called them on my pervert neighbor that stares at me and whistles, cat calls, so forth. Everytime I go to smoke a cigarette; he watches me. 2 am or 2 in the afternoon and it's really creepy. In public, I don't acknowledge such behavior but at home and when they're hicks, I call out the pigs.

Then the lady who lives there came over to apologize and she was shaky and shit; I felt bad. I was just like, ya know, I know that is a rent house and I don't want to create a problem for you there but everytime you have your guy friends (trashy, filthy hicks) over they holler at me. She then went on to tell me how they took him to jail (apparently, he couldn't handle a discussion) and how it's never happened when she's home, blah, blah, blah. But dude, she's worse than they are. All I ever hear is her fat ass mouth screaming god damn fucking bitches and she's fucking fuck up some mother fuckers and shit cock this and bitch ass that. It's disgusting. She's always dragging her little kids in the yard by their arms, swearing them and stuff. And her dog makes me nervous. Hopefully, without her mullet-wearing hick savior; she'll move. I don't know. She seemed sincere in apologizing but as obnoxious of a neighbor as I have always been in the dozens of places I've lived, I'm pretty sure nothing will change. But I didn't have much else to do today except watch Stephen King's Riding the Bullet and make a little KB run.

My whole weekend was pretty blah. Last night, all I did was have Tania scoop me to go have drinks with Clay and Tyson before they got off work.

We went to the Wal-Mart parking lot to smoke a cigarette since she was borrowing her mom's jeep. And Hayley, the "I never tricked for it" crackwhore, called. And I was loaded and laughing my ass off at her Nextel'ing since she makes absolutely no sense. And in her little ghetto crackwhore voice, she was like, "She callin' me a ho and stupid" and I just started laughing harder. And Hayley was like, "I know..." and that was it. Ha. "I know..." Atleast she can admit it. Then she was like, "Imma do it uh-huh Imma do something Wanna be my roooommate?" HAHAHA!! I fell out so hard, dude, I couldn't control it at all. And Tania walkied back, like "I'm not down with that being hot shit, fool." And Hayley was like, "You think I'm hot? That's weeeeeird." Kids... crack does not kill. It only maims. Stay away from it.

Aside from that, my gimp lizard had alot of backfeet wiggling today. I think she may be making process but she seems angry about the handfeedings. I might try crippling some crickets or maybe a waxworm or two. After a 50 dollar vet bill, that little rep better make it. A new dragon is only 60 so... I'm going to be pissed if she stops eating.

I looked for where Justin was buried but he doesn't have a marker. So I just sat by the pond. Hopefully, they put one up before the next time I go out there.


I go home in 10 and I need to print some stuff. I guess I'll type to myself more next week.

3 vaginal rips - rape me

[04 Nov 2005|05:25pm]
This woman came in to work today and was asking me questions like, you used to work at this place, drive this car, have this color hair, blah blah, then she was like, You dated Justin PatE? Then, I was like, oh my god, I remember this psycho bitch. Then she goes on to tell me how Justin hung himself in Sept. after he moved back to Cali. and noone knew why. She was smiling the whole time and told me to have a good day and shit. What is that about? She said they didn't even put a marker on his grave but she did tell me the cemetary and that's he's by the pond. I may go visit.

And my bearded dragon is paralyzed. I broke her... my poor baby, Gordita.

10 vaginal rips - rape me

[08 Oct 2005|06:00pm]
I have nowhere to live. Again.

6 vaginal rips - rape me

[07 Oct 2005|05:49pm]
Dude, this school feature is shitty. Some of my high schools aren't even listed. I know I'm not the only person who was sentenced to be "reformed". BR Marine, baby! Whew! White Castle! Yeah! 45 days of School spirit!! Yaha.

If we attended school together and your name is not Danielle or DaVan, I have no clue who you are anyway. This is just further proof that I should have more responsibilities at work or I'll just play online all day.

rape me

"There's a china man under the truck!" [06 Oct 2005|04:56pm]
I went to this ghetto gas station for a philly and was the only white person. This dude behind me was like, "Look at this white girl; I could grab her right now and noone would do shit." And the china man behind the counter took his bat and slammed it on the counter, screaming, "NO TOUCH WHITE GIRL!" Then he was like, "I sorry; You shop here." I was all, "Right on, dude." China is nice.

7 vaginal rips - rape me

[22 Sep 2005|03:36pm]
I'm sitting at my desk with this great beagle puppy. He's so cool; this job rocks. I'm hoping to buy a laptop in the next month or so. Probably not but whatever. In the mean time, I'll be round the same old way, come smoke something.

5 vaginal rips - rape me

[30 Nov 2004|01:00pm]
Not having a car has proven to be quite boring. Not having a phone has definately added to that. I miss out on each and every thing now. If we know each other personally, you're welcome to call me at home 647-6469.

I totaled my uninsured for less than 24 hours car on 621 a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I was not physically harmed. I could've atleast gotten a busted lip or something to show for it but sadly, I just walked away. I am being sued by some insanely rich Highland bitch whore who I hope to see suffer immensely. Odds are all in her favor; Court is Feb. 2nd in Gonzales at 9 am for anyone who would like to show up and protest. Nate also has court that day at 1 pm if you would like to protest that as well but that dude is fucking guilty as hell. However, he is still one of my closest friends so help free Nathan.

This month I've quit 3 jobs. I'm determined to find another job that I can keep for years and years instead of something I know I'll walk out on in a month or two. Finding work close to home is pretty hard though. It's not a very good location.

I've been getting fucked up about once a week instead of 7. Most importantly, I've traded in the hard drugs for softies. I'm not even hustling weed anymore. I just smoke whatever is passed to me which isn't alot since I'm always sitting at home with no computer, tv, phone, or sleeping pills. I'd say that's a slight improvement. It's much more peaceful aside from the powerful comeback of insomnia. That part is somewhat brutal.

Yeah... shit's been pretty boring. I'm trying to look on the bright side but I think my sanity is about to go flying out the window. Someone save me. I'm just tired of seeing the same few people over and over. I miss diversity.

Oh, and Wednesday, I'm going hand over the title to my car. I'm taking a bat to that bitch if anyone would like to join. I just have some aggression I need to take out. I need a bat too. I'd rather a pipe but I'll work something out between now and then. It shouldn't be hard.

Ok, my ride is here. Gotta go.

rape me

[29 Oct 2004|12:16pm]
Since being unemployed, I've enjoyed an array of no-goodness. First, I rolled mega-hardcore on Bourbon. I sped my ass off at an ultra-gay gay club. My last day of work, I took 6 xanax. I wrecked twice, ran off the road and got stuck in mud, fell over in middle of a sales pitch and chilled at Lindsay's a couple hours until she and Brittany M. drug me to a porn shop. After work, I saw double everything then fell asleep on Ryan's couch for the first time in days. I recall very little from this particular experience. But it was so fun. After my little binge, my brain was mushy and my body ached from 36 hours of laughing, dancing, screaming, giggling, sweating, shaking, caressing, and head-spinning. I'd say I'm pretty much done with drugs. I can only do them for like 2 or 3 months, in 5 year intervals.

I worked at a gas station for about half of a shift. It was shitty. I wanted to stab every person who walked in the door.

Anyway, I should get back to job-hunting. I'm not doing jack for Halloween if anyone would like to be nice and invite me somewhere. I was supposed to go to an X/trip/coke party but those things are not in my near future. So give me something free to do. 225-933-6711

1 vaginal rip - rape me

[06 Oct 2004|01:35pm]
I'm without a pc, what, like a week? Come back and the site is all different. That's some bullshit.

Man, I got some fucked up job. I honestly believe with all I am that I have joined a cult. An actual cult. A cult based on hustling people out of their money so I can keep it for myself. Given this is obviously my natural calling, it feels really sleazy. And it's exhausting. I work 11 hours a day. But in the past week, I've made over 600 untaxed in cash and got an all expense paid trip. I met some jamaican people who got me unbelievably messed up the whole time and this girl, Lindsay, that I really like. She moved to BR a week or so ago and we've been having alot of fun. I've already quit and got fired, twice. You know how I do. But it's all cool because my boss is pretty sweet on me. I love jobs like that. I can never keep them long though because I take advantage too much but shit, I'm just using it to pay off some stuff quickly so whatever. Fire me.

I spend all my downtime in BR now. I used to only go out there 3 or 4 nights a week. It just seems like such a waste to come all the way home every night. I stay with people way too much now. Even when I do come home, all I do is hang out with Nate and David because well, that's all I've ever really done. It's just really not worth the trip unless I'm not working that day or the next and can spend hours with them. Driving 30 min. to see Nate for 10 before I fall asleep is just a waste of gas to me.

On my trip, I bought a lighter that says "Don't arrest this person." as a souvenier. Then the next morning I saw the same lighter at the Shell station next to where I work.

My car broke down in middle of HWY 42 and I left it there. The cops called me a couple hours later threatening to impound it. I couldn't bring myself to touch the evil focus so a couple friends of mine pushed it to somewhere. I don't know. It's already fixed again so who cares? And by fixed, I mean noone could figure out what was wrong with it and it drives shittier than ever.

I tried tripping and really didn't like it. David had never done it either so we tried together. I just felt really disoriented and incredibly loud. I was so irritated with the way my brain was functioning and my vision being messed up. Noone told me about that part beforehand. I couldn't go home until almost 6 am because I had to wait on my vision to clear up.

I quit smoking weed for like a solid week. Then someone gave me a blunt and as soon as I smoked it, I (get this) FOUND a bag in my glove compartment. Found it. Not only that, the very next day, I found about a bowl in a baggie behind my dresser. It was mucho oldo. I guess I really was a stoner.

I wish I had interesting things to say but this is consuming time on my one day off. The cell is always open. And if we haven't talked in awhile and your name is Ryan or Brannan it's because I got mad and deleted all the numbers from my phone. Every last one. So yeah, call me.

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]